Feeling Insomnia Yet Again

I can't sleep. I've been complaining about my lack of sleep, but I can't sleep. Sometimes I'm tempted to take a pill of Benedryl just so I can rest for a while. WASL begins tomorrow and I'm so glad that I get to "sleep in." Well...I get the chance to. I don't have to go to school until 10 tomorrow, but I stil feel so busy. I haven't done any work. I say this all the time, but seriously, I always think this, "Why can't I get off my lazy ass and do something?" I love those people who the motivation and drive to do things. Because I don't have it, but I have so much responsibility. And because of that responsibility, I just want to runaway and get away from the world.

I guess this is why I like having a blog. I don't know anyone. It feels so private and public all at the same time. I love my privacy, but there's always a part of me that needs to tell someone without them judging me, which doesn't exist. This wouldn't be the first time I spilled stuff to a stranger. I have a habit of confessing things to telemarketers. I can't help it because sometimes they call me at the most inconvenient time. It sucks for them having to call all these angry people (like me) who just hang up on the them or having psycho people (like me, again!) confess everything like they're therapists or something.

So today...or do I mean yesterday, I was basically kidnapped by my two best friends in the whole world, S and N. All three of went to N's house and basically watched The Sweet Thing and talked about ugly vintage dress and our very distraught friend C. Because of things going on with C, whom I've known since I was eight, I feel lost and confused. I like to get lost on purpose because I feel of sense of control, but with all that she's dealing with, I hate feeling lost and confused. I don't feel in control and I feel vunerable, which I absolutely hate.

Today, JT sent me some of the photos from Blue Scholars Concert. The pictures up top are the ones we took before JT's batteries ran out. If you don't who the Blue Scholars are, you're missing out. I'm no myspace person, but check them out here. It was awesome though I do think A should have gotten credit for all the work, but M got all the credit. I hate that girl. I hate her. She and the other 1600 people at school are the reasons why graduating is so sweet. I can't wait to get away from the people. Once I'm done, I going to cut all my ties to this school and just fuck it and move on.

I think I'm ready to sleep now. Peace, love, and goodnight.